I spent this morning watching… This Morning, there was a parenting ‘expert’ discussing when it’s right for your child to stop using a dummy etc. This is something that bothered me before I was even a parent, before I was even pregnant. I have a really big family and lots of young children who have all stopped using dummies at a different time, some have never liked their dummy they’ve sucked their thumb instead or had a comfort blanket, all were used to soothe and calm the child. Now, forgive me if I am wrong but surely the child’s comfort is paramount? David Beckham is in the spotlight so naturally the media saw 4 year old Harper using a dummy and assumed she had never got rid of it and has spent the last 4 years with this dummy in her mouth. David defended himself by saying Harper was poorly and this calmed her, I can relate to this in some ways as my auntie was explaining not long ago about my little cousin and how, when she was spending a lot of time in hospital the nurses would give her a dummy in the recovery room then when she was back with her parents my Auntie would take the dummy away, now, I’m sure you can agree that those few hours or even couple of days of a child with milk teeth using a dummy are NOT going to give her orthodontia issues. It’s not only people in the spotlight who are penalised for the decisions they make for the comfort of their child. Health Visitors can also be just as judgemental as the media in telling you what your child needs purely because they’ve read a couple of books. Please don’t think this is me belittling the profession, it isn’t, luckily our HV is very helpful. But, it was only this morning I saw someone on Facebook explain their HV had expressed her child shouldn’t of had a dummy or a bottle before bed. What I can’t understand is, why, if this is making my child happy, if my child is comfortable, if I am comfortable with these decisions we’re told that our gut feeling is wrong?
Speaking from personal experience as I’ve written already Oscar has been quite poorly, he gets really restless and becomes a velcro baby, also, if you’ve read my old blog you will know I get pain too on a daily basis, therefore, sometimes Oscar spends a few hours from 3am onwards in bed with Ciaran and I. Now, before the Mummy Police start telling me how wrong that is please know this first- we have spent a fortune on 4 different pillows that are specially made for co-sleeping so it is safe as possible, we have special blankets so he doesn’t overheat in those couple of hours and a thermometer in the room to ensure he doesn’t get too hot or too cold. Him being in with us means I don’t have to get up and down and lean over his crib when I’m in pain and means Oscar feels happy and calm with his Mummy and Daddy close to him and he can get some rest in between his pains. So if that makes me a bad Mama then SO BE IT. This is where I see the issue, if I told you:
‘Oscar sleep in bed with me and Ciaran’
You would automatically see him squashed between the both of us for the sake of it. You would not know the full story. Just like nobody knows/knew the full story for the Beckhams, although, now they do has anyones opinion really changed? I think not. I think as parents and PEOPLE we are so quick to judge others without knowing the full story, I say fair play to David for sticking up for his family and that they should 100% carry on doing what makes their children happy! I’ve noticed this more and more in the parenting world since researching before starting this blog, everyone has an opinion and everyone thinks they know best, but I think all we really know is our own children and what they like.
What are your thoughts on the dummy debate? Do you use dummies for your children if not do they have a specific comfort? I’d love to hear your views.