The Thing About The Baby Is…

The thing about the baby is:

  1. The poo will come out the side of the nappy and spread all over the inside of the trouser legs and vest and you will have just arrived at your destination and you will have forgotten spare trousers that day.
  2. If you are planning to put Calpol in the baba’s mouth using the provided syringe baba will use their tongue to push that liquid straight back out and that stuff is STICKY!
  3. You need to learn how to shave a face from a young age regardless of your child’s gender, using a spoon.
  4. Liquidised baby food stains.
  5. Baba will put everything in their mouth
  6. Your shoulder will be wet most of the time
  7. Some days the baba will simply not settle unless cuddled so tight to your body, don’t you dare move, don’t use the bathroom or eat, else the baby will wake up and cry until they go tomato and can’t breathe
  8. Their head’s are always finding the door, don’t worry though it’s HILARIOUS to headbutt everything
  9. The funniest things for you to do is be hurt… Scratched by baba causing blood? Amazing. Have you cried out in pain because those chubby little hands have pulled your hair? Funniest thing they’ve seen all day. Poked in the eye? AND WORST OF ALL- HEADBUTT TO THE LIP! *I can still taste the blood* so can Nana.
  10. They like to eat wipes, and suck sponges.


I honestly thought the child I gave birth to was a perfect little angel, turns out at nearly 6 months he’s actually a bit strange, I’m learning something new about this weird creature everyday. I’ll keep you posted on the things about the baby



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