I wasn’t going to blog throughout January but I feel like something has to be addressed. I am absolutely sick of seeing people write on Twitter how unrealistic the Eastenders storyline is with Stacey Branning. I wrote my labour story and of course, I left some bits out because my goodness labour is a bit gross. One large part of it that I left out that I would now like to address is psychosis. I had been in labour for a few hours and the room was dark, Ciaran was asleep at this point, I had 2 midwives in the corner of my room quietly working and monitoring me, aware that I have bipolar they knew signs to look out for. I unfortunately and rather suddenly started seeing things. I remember it started as some white butterflies flying around the room (things that I’ve hallucinated before, they make me smile most of the time and tend to calm me) then I saw a figure standing by the door of my room, I do know this person but won’t be disclosing who they were. This person just started telling me things, started saying people would take my baby, that I was going to be a horrible mother, that I didn’t deserve a baby, that I was going to die. All sorts of horrible things and although now I know what this was I wasn’t aware at the time. I closed my eyes tightly shut and started swinging my arms around trying to hit this person. At one point a student midwife- bless her heart- was holding my arms down to the bed. A LOT of other things happened shortly after this and throughout my labour but as soon as Oscar was born and placed on my chest it disappeared. Sadly, the hallucinations and voices returned shortly after we returned home from the hospital. Luckily, I have excellent family and doctors who helped me quickly and I’m still receiving therapy and I’m on medication to stabilise things.
Watching what Stacey is going through (Yes I know it’s only a show) breaks my heart, even though what that character is experiencing is far worse than anything I have experienced I think it’s important that people watch this and realise that stuff like this really does happen. You’re all so quick to judge, and say how it’s only a TV show whilst forgetting that this stuff happens in real life. To people all around you everyday!! Do some research into things before you start assuming a soap is dramatising a situation. They do this to attempt to educate people. 

That’s it for now, thank you for reading this very rushed blog post.